The War on Christmas

I've had to control my rage and irritation at how stupid people are and try and re-write this post in a more moderate, sane and sensible manner. This time of year always seems to have rants popping up all over the place about the evil, secular war on Christmas- some dastardly liberal plot to attack Christians again and blah blah blah. We've all heard this now and again- various objections to people saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of specifying which holiday, and people calling trees 'Holiday Trees' instead of 'Christmas Trees.'

Before I get into that, I have to take a deep breath and make a couple of disclaimers: 1. I'm a Christian. Well, to be more accurate I'm a Catholic. Raised in a household where we had to go to Church until we were 18 every Sunday whether we wanted to or not. OK, I don't go regularly anymore but that has more to do with my many issues (too numerous to discuss here) with the Catholic Church than it does with any particular lack of faith- and the fact of the matter is that every Christmas we all trot on down to Midnight Mass as a family. So, I'm not an athiest in any way, shape or form. 2. I'm a registered Independant. I have a very long list of things I dislike about both the Republican and Democratic Parties, and I subscribed to neither of the ideologies currently being shoved down our throats by the extreme wings of both parties. I consider myself a solid Moderate. So, I'm not a loony leftist, either.

Good, now that's been said, I can get into the meat of the issue: This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. It's paranoid and not even all that well thought out and here's why:

1. What secular progressive agenda? I know all you people on the right like to pretend that you're all martyrs and victims of some evil liberal plot that's out to take your guns and make you marry gay people or something equally hysterical, but guys, seriously now- take a deep breath and look around Washington D.C. You guys have Congress, you have the White House and you're coming very close to stacking the Supreme Court with solid ideological Conservatives for the next twenty to fifty years. You guys are ruling the roost right now and the left can't seem to find it's ass with an atlas. So, I ask you people: what secular progressive agenda? I defy you to find me the agenda that's out to destroy Christmas, please! Prove me wrong! It's just not there. You guys have been in the trenches way too long and you're seeing Liberal conspiracies behind every corner. Relax already. No one is going to ban Christmas, because you guys are running the joint here. And as the Republican Party you command the votes of an awful lot of what now? Oh, that's right: Christians! Do you really mean to tell me that the some secular progressive conspiracy is going to be able to outmaneuver the party that's running Washington right now? (And if you do tell me that, then I think you severely overestimate the ability of the ACLU to impact things anywhere.)

2. No one cares: Honest to God, this is the biggest nonesense issue I've ever seen. No one cares. As a Christian, if someone tells me 'Happy Holidays' I'm not going to give a rat's ass, because I'll know what holiday they are in all likelihood referring to despite Bill O'Reilly's stunning assertion that the greeting 'Happy Holidays' is offensive to Christians:

Most recently, O'Reilly revealed a new front in the "war on Christmas" on his November 9 television show when he discussed his "decision to look at some retail policies this year" regarding which seasonal greeting major retailers will use with their customers. In response to a guest's argument that nondenominational salutations did not offend Christians, O'Reilly responded, "Yes, it does. It absolutely does."

(Unlike him, I'm not going to presume to speak for all Christians. But I know it doesn't offend me.)

Let's look at the calendar year here, people: in the months of November and December you have the following religious- and indeed secular holidays: (Note that the key word there is holidays.) Halloween, Diwali, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, Pearl Harbor Day, Ramadan, Hannukah, Christmas, New Year's and hell, let's be generous and throw in Kwanzaa. That's 10, count them carefully, ten holidays in a two month period. That's a lot of Holidays- and given the fact that Christmas is supposed to be about spreading tidings of joy and good cheer to your fellow human beings, should we be offended is someone wants to wish us a little bit of happiness for each and every one of these holidays? Not if we have half a brain we shouldn't! Spreading joy and cheer whether you say 'Happy Holidays' or 'Merry Christmas' is at the heart of what Christmas is about. It's about showing a little cheer and goodwill to everyone out there. So this idea that 'Happy Holidays' is offensive is well, let's just call it what it is: silly.

3. If we really want to celebrate the birth of Jesus, we're probably doing it at the wrong time of year: let's pause for a moment, shall we and consider the following quote from one of the many idiots behind this idiocy, FoxNews anchor, John Gibson:

by refusing to say the word "Christmas." And what I've noticed is the way this appears in schools, for instance, is we now don't call it the Christmas break. It's the winter break, as if people worship winter. And there wouldn't be a winter break if there wasn't Christmas at that time of year. So once you call it -- change the name. You won't use the word "Christmas," then you go to "winter," you can sort of push the Christmas thing out of public view

Oh, this makes me laugh so much. 'As if people worship winter...' you know John, it's funny that you mention that, because back in the day, hey, what did the pagans have their major festivals on? Oh yeah! The Winter and Spring Solstice? I think so! What a fascinating coincidence that two major Christian holidays should fall on or around those two dates. (And if you're thinking that maybe our early Christian predecessors moved some dates around so they could convert more pagans, then you'd probably be right.)

If you have such an issue with preserving the true meaning of the holiday then under your logic, we shouldn't be celebrating it on the 25th of December at all, as there's plenty of historical evidence out there that seems to suggest (using Biblical sources no less) that Jesus wasn't born anywhere near December. So John, how about it? Let's move Christmas, shall we? If we're going to celebrate it right, we should celebrate the birth of Jesus on the right date shouldn't we?

I'm not even going to go near the Holiday Tree vs. Christmas Tree thing that Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert decided to get into a snit about. (Shouldn't you be doing something more productive with your time, like say, investigating the BCS? Oh wait...) Let's face it: we, as a nation are not stupid people. A conifer in December, with a bunch of pretty lights on it is a Christmas tree and we all know it. You could call it the 'The Great and Wonderful Non-Denominational Conifer of Secular Humanism' and people across the country wouldn't be fooled: the damn thing is a Christmas tree and we all know it. So who cares what the official literature calls it?

In short, it's not Liberals that are destroying Christmas- the true meaning of the Holiday tends to get a bit lost in the overly materialistic view that we all- including most of the people bitching about this- have developed over the years. It tends to be more about making sure retailers have a good holiday shopping season and that we all get cool things for each other than it does anything else. In short, I kinda agree. The true meaning of the holiday does get lost a bit in the shuffle- and gentle reminders from people to be a little less materialistic and remember the less fortunate are always welcome- because being a little less materialistic is always good, right?

Basically, if you follow this 'war on Christmas' argument to it's logical conclusion, then I hope Bill O'Reilly's going to stop giving everyone in his family Christmas gifts, because that's where this is heading. It's the materialism that shuffles the true meaning of Christmas to the back of the line, not anything ideological. And under their logic, the only way to combat that would be to stop buying each other gifts and go to Church. Which is a perfectly valid response, I suppose- and I'd respect people who actually did that. But, unless O'Reilly and company are going to take the lead in curbing our materialistic and worldly desires at this time of year by leading by example, then they should, quite frankly, shut the hell up.

So, if you're worried about people (or your children) losing the true meaning of Christmas, then give something to the Salvation Army bellringers when you're out shopping. Buy a toy and hook up with the Toys for Tots things that the Marine Corps always does- or even better, sit down and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas and pay special attention to what Linus tells Charlie Brown when he asks what the true meaning of Christmas actually is.